Last Updated on 29th January 2024 by Caroline Haye
A guest blog by Natalie Ambersley
Vitiligo doesn’t just impact the individual with the condition; it can impact those closest to them such as parents, carers and family members.
Knowing how to explain vitiligo to your child and raising them to feel confident in their skin, can be hard, especially as you’ll be conscious of how they might be treated at school and how it might impact them later in life. As a parent or carer of a child with vitiligo, you are likely to feel concerned, upset and confused during the early stages of diagnosis, which is completely understandable, especially if it’s not a condition you are familiar with.
As a parent, one of things you are likely to want to teach your child is how to feel confident in their skin. I’m a firm believer that education starts in the home and with the right guidance and support, you can instil confidence and teach your child how to navigate through school and manage potentially difficult situations that may arise. Of course, as parents you can’t be there all the time as a voice for them, but you can help with teaching them to be confident which can have a lasting effect on who they are.
Here are my tops tips on how you can help make your child confident with vitiligo…
Explain what vitiligo is and keep it simple
This may sound obvious, but the first step in understanding vitiligo is explaining what it is in simple terms. Keeping it simple means explaining to them that they have a skin condition where white patches appear on the skin. Young children don’t need to understand the technicalities behind vitiligo, so explaining that it’s an autoimmune condition that leads to the loss of pigment due to the lack of melanin isn’t necessary. By explaining what it is in a child-friendly way means they are more likely to remember and will be able to tell others what it is if they are asked. All the other stuff can come later in life when they are old enough to understand.
When my nephew, who was eight at the time, asked me what was wrong with my skin I responded by saying ‘Auntie Nat has a skin condition. It doesn’t hurt. It’s just a little different to yours’. That answer was enough and he has never asked me again to explain what it is.
Show them children’s books that have characters with vitiligo
As a child who was raised in the 80s, children’s books weren’t very diverse. All the characters looked the same and so I didn’t get to see myself represented in the books that I loved to read. Looking back, I genuinely believe that seeing this would have helped me to ‘normalise’ my skin from a young age and would have helped me to see it in a positive light because I would have learned that I too, was important enough to be represented.
Today, there are so many books emerging that feature characters inspired by those with vitiligo. For example, I’ve got spots by Danielle Wheeler, Skin Deep: A Child’s Story by Phyllis A. Russell-Gilmer and Snow White and The Seven Patches by Jewel Kats… Which means we are able to teach our children through story telling and show them that they two are represented like other children.
If you’re positive, they’re positive
Remaining positive, especially during the initial stages of vitiligo is tough for any parent. You are processing so many different thoughts… Will it spread? Is there a cure? Will my child be ostracised? And so feeling upbeat is likely to be the last thing on your mind.
Remaining positive will have a profound impact on a child. Why? Because they look up to their parents and are seeking their guidance and support from an early age. I always recall my parents reminding me that I was beautiful and that my skin didn’t matter. And I never felt their feelings of concern, even though they were concerned deep down inside.
Encouraging children not to hide their skin through the clothes they wear and making sure they wear shorts and t-shirts during the summer shows them that they have nothing to hide… As does openly talking to them about their skin and not making it an issue. These are key ways in which you create a positive environment around them.
Join Support Groups
Joining a support group where you have something in common with other parents and carers of children with vitiligo is vital to you feeling supported. Often with vitiligo there is a feeling of isolation; that there is no one to turn to and in some cases, a lack of support services because it isn’t life threatening. With social media being the biggest and fastest way in which we interact, there are endless groups online that bring people together who share a commonality.
Use these groups to ask questions, share your experiences and make friends – even if it is just virtual. No question is ever wrong to ask. And, from experience, these groups welcome everyone, regardless of how they feel about their child’s skin or where they are on their journey. Learning from these groups allows you to pick up tips and understand how other parents are coping during difficult moments. The more you understand vitiligo, the more you can teach your child and have them understand the condition too.
Useful links relating to this topic
The Vitiligo Society – https://vitiligosociety.org/
Changing Faces – https://www.changingfaces.org.uk/
Other vitiligo help – https://thevitpro.com/useful-vitiligo-links/
About the author
Natalie, from London, is a blogger and advocate for vitiligo, which she developed when she was 3 years old. She first spoke publicly about her journey with the condition in 2013, when she appeared on the news segment of London Live. Her skin wasn’t something she had openly spoken about before. However, after her appearance she received such an overwhelmingly positive response that she decided to use her voice to inspire and teach others with the condition.
Since speaking out, Natalie’s story has been shared in several magazines and newspapers, including Metro, Cosmopolitan and Stylist. She has spoken about body confidence at a number of events and has featured in campaigns for brands such as Dove and Vita Liberata.
Natalie is passionate about raising awareness and educating others, in addition to sharing her own story in hope that others can relate and feel empowered to live confidently with vitiligo. She works very closely with The Vitiligo Society and Changing Faces, two charities that raise awareness and support those with visible differences.
You can visit her blog at https://www.beingjustus.co.uk/ and she is on Instagram as @being_just_us.
